Ebola Virus: No Sign of Peace in Catholic Churches
Ebola Virus: No Sign of Peace in Catholic Churches
News reaching us this morning have porous indications that there is a war going on in the catholic churches. According to the Catholic Archbishop of the metropolis in Lagos, this ‘medical war has resulted in grave decisions being made in the church’.
In a statement to FNN, Archbishop Martins said the Catholic Church had instructed its priests to henceforth suspend all forms of physical contacts during service, including the traditional ‘sign of peace’, which involves shaking of hands with other worshippers during service to avoid ‘Spiritual EVD’.
Continuing, when asked what will happen when the catholic service session gets the the sign of peace which involves laying of hands, the man of God simply said “Skip It”.
He also said the Agents of God were now authorized to substitute “Holy Water” for “Holy Sanitizer”, and though offerings in the church were compulsory, gloves and gas masks will now be used to collect offering by “special agents in charge of offering operations”, who will pass through de-contermination rooms after the sacred act of offering collection.
The fight on the Ebola virus diseases seems to be in a ‘state of limbo’ in the country and the church advised its members and Nigerians at large to be highly cautious of their hygiene status.
#DontMissTheNextFunnyThing
News reaching us this morning have porous indications that there is a war going on in the catholic churches. According to the Catholic Archbishop of the metropolis in Lagos, this ‘medical war has resulted in grave decisions being made in the church’.
In a statement to FNN, Archbishop Martins said the Catholic Church had instructed its priests to henceforth suspend all forms of physical contacts during service, including the traditional ‘sign of peace’, which involves shaking of hands with other worshippers during service to avoid ‘Spiritual EVD’.
Continuing, when asked what will happen when the catholic service session gets the the sign of peace which involves laying of hands, the man of God simply said “Skip It”.
He also said the Agents of God were now authorized to substitute “Holy Water” for “Holy Sanitizer”, and though offerings in the church were compulsory, gloves and gas masks will now be used to collect offering by “special agents in charge of offering operations”, who will pass through de-contermination rooms after the sacred act of offering collection.
The fight on the Ebola virus diseases seems to be in a ‘state of limbo’ in the country and the church advised its members and Nigerians at large to be highly cautious of their hygiene status.
#DontMissTheNextFunnyThing
Comments
Post a Comment
please help us improve our blog by adding your comments